A Few Psychologically Clever Techniques for Successful Communication

There are a number of simple techniques that, by keeping them in mind and consciously applying them - both in stressful situations and in everyday communication - allow you to convey or read information more effectively, as well as improve your own or another person's mood, or even the relationship overall.

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At a Work Meeting

If a meeting at work is coming up at which strong criticism or reproaches from a specific person or supervisor are likely, try to sit next to them in the meeting room - right at their side. It will be harder for them to maintain an attacking stance; as the meeting progresses, they will become more accommodating towards you.

If, on the other hand, you yourself want to create a strong confrontation or provoke a sharp exchange of words, sit directly opposite, so that the conference table separates you and them - especially if this table has sharp corners.

Conversation in a Circle

Observe people when they have gathered in a circle or semicircle and are having a conversation about something. If a conversation partner's toes are no longer pointed towards you but are increasingly turning in the direction of another person or the door, that is a sign that interest in the topic being discussed or in you has waned - or the conversation partner is trying to escape from the conversation, unconsciously gravitating towards the door, wanting to leave, not hear it, avoid it.

Similarly, in a group where everyone is laughing, you can notice that each person at that moment tends to look at the person they like or with whom they want to develop a closer, more intimate relationship.

Eating Away Stress

Have you ever heard the saying that people try to eat away their stress? Or someone complaining - when I'm nervous I have an uncontrollable urge to swallow something? There is a grain of truth in this, because stress does actually diminish when the brain receives a signal that the person is consuming food. The signal - everything is fine, your body is taking in calories, it will be strong enough for the fight, even though in modern society the fight is most often not physical but merely, for example, verbal.

To avoid gaining significant weight during such a stress period, you should try simply chewing gum or eating something light, such as dried fruit.

Eye Contact

Eye contact plays a very important role in communication. Many guides state and most people know that avoiding eye contact or having a darting gaze - for example during a job interview - says nothing good about the candidate. Most likely the interviewer will unconsciously read the non-verbal information and interpret it as untrustworthiness, dishonesty, insecurity, excessive nervousness, pretence, and so on.

But with the help of eye contact, you can also convey or achieve certain things. If your conversation partner's answer is unsatisfactory or incomplete, don't immediately try to ask explanatory follow-up questions - instead, look into their eyes more attentively, more insistently, and for a little longer. Usually the other person then feels pressure to explain what was just said in more detail, or feels uncomfortable that they haven't revealed the full truth, and tells everything to the end.

A prolonged gaze into the eyes is not only an expression of hidden aggression but also of attraction. As we know, from love to hate is only one step. During communication, while looking attentively into the eyes of someone who is very attracted to you, try to determine their eye colour. That is an unmistakable signal that you like them and want closer contact with them.

What to Do If Someone Shouts at You?

Nothing. Simply maintain stoic calm - at least outwardly, show no sign that it affects you in any way. Initially this will provoke even greater indignation and anger in the person shouting, but later they will most likely experience "moral remorse" for having been so insensitive towards you.

Facial Expression, Gestures, Posture, and Your Mood

It turns out that not only do emotions influence our facial expressions and gestures - the reverse also works. If you consciously smile broadly for an extended period, your mood involuntarily improves and the whole world seems to have become a little less hostile towards you.

Similarly, if a public performance is coming up, take a moment just beforehand to stand in a power position - back straightened, hands pressed into your sides, chin slightly raised. Tried and tested personally - it works! During the performance you will definitely feel twice as confident, more assured, and your voice will obey you.

If, when meeting someone less close or even less pleasant, you show greater, more genuine joy at the encounter - or even greet them with a hug - then over time this person will become much more pleasant for you to deal with.

Confidence vs Competence

People often make the mistake of perceiving a person's self-confidence as competence or unquestionable professionalism in some field. But charismatic and clever people use this to their advantage. Look confident, take assured steps, speak clearly and loudly, use a firm handshake, don't hesitate too long in making decisions - and people will follow you.