What Should I Give You as a Gift?

The Winter Solstice and New Year celebrations are not so far off. The more conscientious among us are already bustling about and procuring little gifts for friends, relatives, family members, colleagues.

This time I want to talk about a question asked before the holidays - what should I give you as a gift? I used to perceive this question as a certain lack of tact and also slightly as an insult, because since childhood I had been raised to believe that a gift is not only a material, tangible thing, but also an expression of love and appreciation and... also a certain secret, a surprise - you have no idea in advance what has been prepared for you, perhaps a good while beforehand, hidden, kept away from your sight and hearing, the rustle of wrapping paper inaudible, wrapped up. Of course, one received both things long cherished in one's dreams and things one didn't really want but which in the parents' view were valuable and useful.

Now it even seems self-evident that a husband or a close friend might ask - what should I give you as a gift? Grown adults, having learned to take a rational view of the matter of gift-giving, each of us knows what we truly want and in what form. Because, in order to choose a well-aimed gift, one must know not only a person's favourite colour, size, preferred fragrance, most admired author or artist, and similar things, but also their memories, associations, experience, and so on. Isn't it simply easier to ask directly so that neither side is left disappointed?

But still - does the magic of the gift survive, that pleasant, ticklish sensation of anticipating something dear, good, unforeseen? Does the content of a gift have such essential significance, or is the main thing after all the manner of its presentation, the moment, and the meaning attributed to it?