The Irresistible Compulsion...

As a preamble to these reflections I wish to quote a view of S. Freud, which he expressed in 1920 in the essay "Beyond the Pleasure Principle". In this essay Freud describes his observation of a 36-month-old boy who often repeated a certain habit - namely, throwing away a wooden reel (a toy), and when the reel was gone he would cry and become upset. Freud interpreted this as a game in which the child learns to cope with loss and gain the upper hand over these feelings.

As the boy grew older, his father was at the front, and Freud observed another habit - the boy would throw toys away while angrily shouting "go to the front".

Generalising the theory of "repetition compulsion", Freud concluded that as a result of ego conflict, a desire arises to surface and repeat memories that had been suppressed, thereby gaining the upper hand over them.

So I thought about people who are always dissatisfied with something or for whom things constantly "don't work out". Very often these people understand that this cannot continue and something must change, but they do it reluctantly - or, if change has occurred, after a while the dissatisfaction is back. Again a bad colleague or boss. Again the newly acquired car has some fault. But! What is no less strange - these people do not realise that each next choice or endeavour they make is done following precisely the same pattern as the previous one. And again trouble and tears and... indifference.

Strangely, there are men (women) who choose a partner, and after a while this partner loses their "added value" in their eyes. They leave. They look for the next one and again lament that this one too, soon after, has lost their added value. And again they search, find, leave. And all women (men) are pigs.

From a Radio SWH advertisement - "There are people for whom things don't work out. And it's just as well that they don't." A story about people who get involved in things they are more likely to break than fix. But regardless, they get involved with others, make a mess, give up or reluctantly drag things to some stage, and then get involved in the next thing - and so on without end. Apparently they suffer inside, but trying not to show it, they excuse themselves - no need to worry and stress unnecessarily.

I have never understood whether these people have truly not considered - perhaps trying to do something different, or at least differently?